We’ve all joked that true friendship means being able to roast each other — and as it turns out, science agrees. According to psychologists, light-hearted teasing, when done with affection and respect, can actually strengthen relationships.
This isn’t about harsh insults or mean-spirited jabs, like the ones you’d see in celebrity roast shows or online forums. What researchers call pro-social teasing is something much gentler — teasing that’s playful, intentional, and rooted in trust. It’s not about tearing someone down, but rather showing that you know and accept them.
This kind of banter acts as social glue. It builds closeness, signals mutual understanding, and even helps maintain healthy boundaries in friendships. Parenting writer KJ Dell’Antonia notes that among younger people, teasing is often a way of expressing familiarity and affection — a light roast that says, “I know you well.”
Psychologist Peter Gray adds that these good-natured jokes can also serve as a subtle form of social regulation. They help keep egos in check, encourage humility, and deliver honest feedback in a way that feels safe and loving. It’s far better to hear the truth from someone who cares than from someone who doesn’t.
Of course, the line between playful and harmful teasing matters. Anti-social teasing — jokes meant to embarrass, belittle, or shame — can be damaging and hurtful. But when done with care, a good roast can actually bring people closer.
So the next time a friend teases you — and you both laugh — take it as a sign of closeness. That burn might just be proof that you’re truly seen, and loved for exactly who you are.
Source: The Swaddle
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